first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
