no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize