at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
