i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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