why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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