Your face is a jimmy john
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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