i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
