what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
