O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
