I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
