People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Congratulations! We have a period
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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