I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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