Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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