i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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