and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
