conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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