it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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