dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
