yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
