btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
