We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
