laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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