??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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