even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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