im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My hand turned me down
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
