1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize