hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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