I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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