nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.