I need help removing her.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
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dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.