dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.