Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(410): View more from Maryland

i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass

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(919): View more from North Carolina

every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"

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(330): View more from Ohio

I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.

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