we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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