Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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