Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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