69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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