u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
