mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
