so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
try to milk me bitch
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