I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we're so committed to being not committed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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