Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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