I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize