yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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