no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
