He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I supernannyed him into submission
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
