DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would ride that face into the sunset
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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