nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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