if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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