So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
