But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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