Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
