i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm really busy with my period
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
