hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
