Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
