Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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