Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
