I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
