operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
