everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
